3 things I noticed.

1) Chivas Regal: Despite the one goal which tainted the victory. The defence minus Chris 'putting the Gay in' Gayen was regal and resolute at keeping out the Scotch forward line which consisted of the last season's top scorer in the league. The Whites backline which stood tall at an average height of 5'0 consisted of Paul 'Mr Alphabet for a last name' Superfragilisticexpialidocious at left back and Dennis 'low GI' Choo working the defence flanks while everyone's favourite Argy, Juan 'Bargy' Livore and Joe 'Zlatan' Windows were the twin towers in the middle of the defence. The backline was evidently missing the leadership and experience of Chris which showed as 'Bargy' seemingly at times was more interested in the Kookaburra who sat atop the cross bar of our beloved Dan 'Birthday Boy' Aikin. 'Birthday Boy' despite having to contend with some slight wood (no doubt due to the bird on top the woodwork) was hardly needed to pull off any miraculous saves. However, some close shaves were had with Scotch wasting numerous opportunities to put the ball in the back of the net. Nevertheless, the defence, particularly 'Zlatan' Windows who seemed on a one man mission to stop Scotch from scoring, dug in deep and displayed a performance that was indeed 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.

2) Absinthe: Some say the word Absinthe means undrinkable in Greek. Tell you what though, it's probably not far from the truth as its given me many a good night followed by painful hangovers usually associated with mutterings of "I'm never drinking that shit again" whilst hugging the porcelain trophy.

The midfield this season so far, has been like Absinthe- unplayable. Jafar 'Crossbar Challenge Loser no. 1' and Ashwi 'Crossbar Challlenge Winner no. 1' sat in the middle of the park, blending skill and flair with workrate and studs. Justin 'Akon' Kanga and Guillaume 'Crossbar Challenge Loser no 2.' Fernandez burning the channels with speed and skill while Vincent 'Crossbar Challenge Winner no. 2' Berne aka. 'all action man' championed his own cause to be the next face of Action Man^TM or the Everywhere Man^TM for Telstra as he literally covered every single blade of grass.

Whites very own rap artist 'Akon' put the team ahead with a confident first time shot (I'm telling Bill) into the back of the net after a shot by a Vince rebounded and fell into Justin's path. Soon after Guillaume made the score 2-0 which for some reason caused the team to take the foot off the pedal. Lady Luck was threatening to be a bitch again as the Whites started to be outplayed by Scotch who came close several time with 2 close range headers that should have found the back of the goal. Gaps started to appear as the Whites midfield kept going forwards, forgetting the age old adage of Bill to play the ball forwards and backwards. The defence were opened up on numerous occasions and left exposed, akin to going bareback with a $5 dolla hooker.

The glorious Absinthe was turning into a bit of a early hangover as Ash gave away a penalty in the 2nd half which to our fortune failed to materialise into a goal as the Scotch forward could only put it wide off the post. Soon after, the dreaded goal came in as Scotch pegged one back, threatening to cockblock what might be a good night out. 2-1 with 20 minutes to go.

3) Scotch on Rocks: From 2-1 the Whites extended their lead with a penalty won by Guillame. 3-1 as Juan fired the ball into the top right corner as the keeper went the other way. The game was starting to be a little feisty as Scotch resorted to playing like WWE superstars on some occasions. However, with Long 'Inzaghi' Nguyen providing some muscle upfront whilst attempting to break the record for the number of offsides a forward could get flagged for in 90 minutes; the Whites eventually secured a fourth through Guillame's eight goal of the season; firmly planting Scotch at the bottom of the table, a team on the rocks, unrecognisable from last season.

And so we have it, winning an important game against Scotch which could have been a potential banana skin match and staying on top of the table with most teams waiting to take us down at the very first opportunity. An ugly game that was swept under the carpet with a pretty scoreline and with the seasons the Whites have had in recent history. I think we'll take that.

The hangover was a good one.

Viva la Whites!

Come on you Pompey!

George 'Crossbar Winner no.3' TanTop