by Jonny Aspin
2003/04

Given the disappointment of the final, thought I'd get in early with some of my pre-season training ideas for the Whites' World Drinking XI (WWDXI) and for those yet to make it in to the team...

1. Replace fluids before, during and after each game. These are what will get you in the action. All athletes know that system lubrication is important and as displayed in the picture, should be consumed in a warm, team environment, preferably indoors and with another 'chaser' beverage close at hand. Stick to this regime religiously, and never leave your wingman.
2. Run in unusual and possibly life-threatening environments. This will get the team used to situations of high pressure, and get the adrenalin flowing when it comes time to score. Some say running can improve stamina and hence increase chances of WWDXI converting quick dancefloor fifties into glorious Whites centuries. This will be excellent for team morale.
3. Work hard on the defence of your opposition. Only rigorous and repeated training sessions can get you in a position to score more often than the other team. Being a glamour side, scoring more than the opposition is what the whites are all about. This is in the true tradition of post-afro Kevin Keegans' former Newcastle Utd side, who were dubbed 'the entertainers' during the early nineties. Deep down, I know with the talent at the disposal of the WWDXI, we too can claim this title. C'MON BOYS! Get out there as often as you can for the team.
4. Get naked. After a hard game, nude-up with your team mates, and in particular your opposition defence (see pre-season training tip #3). Simple. Don't be afraid to get your kit off in front of dozens of portuguese perverts on a lagos beach either - if you happen to find yourself there. Nuding-up is a great way to prepare for next week's game and refresh those aching muscles too. It can also lead to other incidental incidents that could easily fit into the WWDXI's mission statement. Go for it fellas!

Apart from those hints, keep it hard, keep it fresh and most of all keep it glamorous this summer pre-season... only 105 more days to go till that first Tuesday in february! see you on the beach.

Jon Aspin