Meet a Random Uni White!
| A's | League | Cup | Total | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Year | ST | SB |  | ST | SB | | AP | |
 |
 |
|||
| 2003 | 1 | 2 | - | - | - | - | 3 | - | - | - | |||
| 2004 | - | 2 | - | - | - | - | 2 | - | - | - | |||
| 2005 | - | 1 | 1 | - | - | - | 1 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 2006 | - | 1 | - | - | - | - | 1 | - | - | - | |||
| 1 | 6 | 1 | - | - | - | 7 | 1 | - | - | ||||
| B's | League | Cup | Total | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Year | ST | SB | | ST | SB | | AP | |
|
|
|||
| 2003 | 17 | 1 | 6 | 1 | - | - | 19 | 6 | - | - | |||
| 2004 | 18 | 1 | 4 | - | - | - | 19 | 4 | - | - | |||
| 2005 | 7 | 2 | - | 1 | - | - | 10 | - | - | - | |||
| 2006 | 20 | - | 2 | 1 | - | - | 21 | 2 | - | - | |||
| 2007 | 15 | 5 | - | 1 | - | 1 | 21 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 2008 | 16 | 1 | 4 | 3 | - | - | 20 | 4 | 1 | - | |||
| 2009 | 14 | 1 | 3 | 1 | - | 1 | 16 | 4 | 1 | - | |||
| 2010 | 6 | 5 | 3 | - | - | - | 11 | 3 | - | - | |||
| 2011 | 3 | 3 | 1 | - | - | - | 6 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 2012 | 1 | - | 1 | - | - | - | 1 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 117 | 19 | 24 | 8 | - | 2 | 144 | 26 | 2 | - | ||||
| C's | League | Cup | Total | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Year | ST | SB | | ST | SB | | AP | |
|
|
|||
| 2010 | 5 | - | 1 | 1 | - | - | 6 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 2011 | 5 | - | 2 | - | - | - | 5 | 2 | - | - | |||
| 2012 | 8 | 1 | 1 | 1 | - | - | 10 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 18 | 1 | 4 | 2 | - | - | 21 | 4 | - | - | ||||
| D's | League | Cup | Total | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Year | ST | SB | | ST | SB | | AP | |
|
|
|||
| 2011 | 2 | - | 1 | - | - | - | 2 | 1 | - | - | |||
| TOTAL | League | Cup | Total | ||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| ST | SB | | ST | SB | | AP | |
|
|
||||
| 2003 | 18 | 3 | 6 | 1 | - | - | 22 | 6 | - | - | |||
| 2004 | 18 | 3 | 4 | - | - | - | 21 | 4 | - | - | |||
| 2005 | 7 | 3 | 1 | 1 | - | - | 11 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 2006 | 20 | 1 | 2 | 1 | - | - | 22 | 2 | - | - | |||
| 2007 | 15 | 5 | - | 1 | - | 1 | 21 | 1 | - | - | |||
| 2008 | 16 | 1 | 4 | 3 | - | - | 20 | 4 | 1 | - | |||
| 2009 | 14 | 1 | 3 | 1 | - | 1 | 16 | 4 | 1 | - | |||
| 2010 | 11 | 5 | 4 | 1 | - | - | 17 | 4 | - | - | |||
| 2011 | 10 | 3 | 4 | - | - | - | 13 | 4 | - | - | |||
| 2012 | 9 | 1 | 2 | 1 | - | - | 11 | 2 | - | - | |||
| 138 | 26 | 30 | 10 | - | 2 | 174 | 32 | 2 | - | ||||
Ex-Mexican born porn star Miguel Pablo Enchilada Martinez changed his name to the less extravagant Wele "Chip" Heavenly the Dwyght Andy Cole after he became romantically linked with Icelandic super model turned TV hostess Ro Rowenson. This was hot on the heels of his two most commercially viable porn ventures "Bambi Blows" and "Bambi Blows Too", which are still available from all K-Mart stores around the country and were the essential blue print for the Mighty Ducks series.
Wele had had a brief stint in the Mexican Under 12s national soccer side, before a goa T injury pushed him out of the team. However, after months of surgery the silky skilled dreamboat relocated to Australia with his partner and set about resurrecting his soccer career.
Joining the world's most glamorous side on arrival he dazzled defenders everywhere by occasionally taking on three on a space the size of a postage stamp and still managing to get his shot off.
Wele became the world's pin-up boy when he joined BOYZONE as the original Ronan Keating. However, musical differences saw him split from the group after the first album when he took to songwriting and later penned the fake Ronan's much celebrated hit "Life is a Rollercoaster".
Wele was an integral part of the world's greatest 5-a-side team DVDA and caused sensations everywhere when he managed to chip the keeper in a goal that was only about 1 meter 20 high. He also managed to score from the half-way line etc...
Has been known to cause coaches to buy chainsaws in an attempt to remove his heels before he goes out to play the game.
Wele's most admired character traits are his patience and encouraging words for team mates when he is wearing the celebrated white.
A softly spoken gentleman of the game, his example has been an inspiration to youngsters everywhere and it has been said that this superstar will single-handedly reinstate good sportsmanship as the most important feature of any sporting contest.
Bueno.
