The best British football export to our fair continent since Peter Beardsley played two matches in the domestic league, this tall wunderkind from Leeds has adoring Whites fans everywhere holding their breath when he’s on the pitch. Self-critical of his own skills and one of the tallest players in the Read more…
Jan is easily the most offensive of all the Uni Whites players to the opposition teams. This Tupac of the Collegiate League takes it upon himself to be as loud and obnoxious as he possibly can to unnerve such precious opponents as Mercedes and Wusstrevor. He is multi-talented as he Read more…
Hayden “Haydos Chopper Morgenstern” Smith has been the fangs of the Whites midfield for many years. Like a vicious rattlesnake, the talented young star strikes at will and from any position. Signed from AC Milan in a Collegiate League record transfer, his Chopperness hasn’t let the Whites faithful down and Read more…
AKA: Davolo Di Sampio Dave “Attila the Hun” Sampson is best known for his crunching. He may be an exceptional dribbler, crosser or striker of the ball, but his contact with various body parts of the opposition is most memorable in the minds of all Collegiate League Players. This pin-up Read more…
El Presidente, Davoldo Laninio was knighted for his services to soccer by Her Majesty the Queen in January of 2003. It is no more than this midfield genius of the game deserves. His playing history before donning the pearly white is mysterious, as the gutter press has previously linked him Read more…
Since he has joined the club, Danny has established himself as one of the Whites goalkeeping greats. An ex-childcare worker and kindergarten teacher, Danny turned to soccer for therapeutic reasons and has made great progress in his anger management classes. That’s why he now always has a friendly word of Read more…
The Professor of Modern Football and Master of the flash hat trick is enjoying his second season at White “Hard” Lane. A cunning trickster, Alvin distinguishes himself by having the speed and the foot skills to drive defenders crazy. Will he make an assault on the 6 goal record this Read more…
William Bill “Charlton” Hill started his illustrious soccer career with Leicester in the English Second Division before leading the Australian National Team to the 1974 World Cup Finals. After a heroic effort against the Germans where he left Hoeness scoreless, the Aussies claimed their first point against Chile. The fifth Read more…
Ex-Mexican born porn star Miguel Pablo Enchilada Martinez changed his name to the less extravagant Wele “Chip” Heavenly the Dwyght Andy Cole after he became romantically linked with Icelandic super model turned TV hostess Ro Rowenson. This was hot on the heels of his two most commercially viable porn ventures Read more…
A member of the Fantastic Four, Simon turned his incredible elongation skills to dramatic use when he decided to join the Nappy Sanned ones. His tentacle like legs seem to stretch for a minimum of 20 meters at any given time. He has been known to stop an attacker’s shot Read more…