The soap opera that is the Uni White B's continued this week as a vastly different team from the week before took the field, depleted once again. Just like the daytime drama, 'The Bold & the Beautiful', we had teammates drop off through injury and other commitments and teammates return from the dead!

A huge crowd had amassed on the sidelines for the past players day to cheer on the mighty whites in a grudge match against the Uni blacks. The game started with the blacks bolting out the gates with blistering pace, but little structure, while the whites started on the back foot, having to adapt to the change in positions and personnel.

Due to the slow start, it happened, with the Blacks scoring 2 identical goals in 5 mins with tap ins on the back post. A very disappointing way to be behind and something we may need to work on at training with a little 'defending the back post' 101. There was an errie hush over the big crowd (on the white's side) with shock disbelief that we were down 2 nil in the first 20 mins. However, the white's spirit was going nowhere, and within 10 mins the whites had scored with great work from Saf, Lev, Juice and Jonny. Working the ball from the back, it ended up at Lev's feet and a cracking shot from the 18 yard line was parried by the blacks keeper, and just like the puma on his boots, Jase pounced on the loose ball and smashed it past the hapless keeper from 6 yards. Game On!

The confidence was back and the blacks barely touched the ball for the next 10 mins. The ball was finding feet up forward with Jase and Anth (the enigma) laying it back to the midfield who measured passes out to the wingers, Wez and Jafar, who were excellent all day. The blacks were bamboozled, never thinking the ball could go backwards as well as forwards, as they watched the whites pass the ball around like a training drill. Just before half time, all the hard work paid off, with Jafar being fouled in the box for a clear penalty. Up stepped the enigma who unfortunately cannoned the ball into the crossbar and cleared by the blacks defence. An ominous sign for things to come in the second half. Halftime came and we were still down 2-1.

Robin spurred on the troops, asking for concentration and hard work. This time it was the whites who come bursting out of the gates at the start of the second half with consistent attacks down the middle of the park and the flanks. Then, the unthinkable happened, against the run of play, the blacks scored a third from a break down the wing and cutting back into the middle, slotting the ball home. 3-1 down with half an hour to go. Rather than deflate the whites spirit, it seemed to spur it on, with Juice and Jonny dominating the middle of the park, feeding the hungry forwards and wingers. A free kick was awarded on the edge of the 18 yard box in a dangerous position. Wez tricked the blacks with a feign shot and crossed to the enigma who, on the half volley, looped it over the keeper to the raptures of crowd on the sidelines. 3-2 and everything to play for. After wave after wave of attacks, we eventually got a corner with Wez floating the perfect ball into the 6 yard box which Jonny bundled over the line. As the Whites on the sideline celebrated with beers in one hand and snag sandwiches in the other, the ref after awarding the goal and pointing to the centre circle, saw the blacks keeper rolling around on the ground in agony and reversed his decision to give the blacks a free kick. Goal disallowed! Again this did little to the spirit of the players who continued to out play the blacks in every department. Jafar, not once but twice made runs into the box to be only rugby tackled to the ground on both occasions. No penalty given by what can only be described as the biggest injustice in history since the OJ trial.

Fatigue was starting to set in, the whites players battled on, winning free kick after free kick, then, like a scene from Gallipoli, a ridiculous high foot from the blacks defender caught Juice square in the face, splitting his nose and sending him crashing to the ground. Bill Hill ran on the field, trying to subdue the bleeding and helped the big man off the field. With all our subs used, we were down to 10 brave diggers. To add to the drama, with 2 minutes to go, the whites produced the best move of the game. The move started with the ball with Saf down back, who measured it to Jonny in the middle. Perth turned his man and slotted the ball towards Ben and Jase. Ben, sold the dummy to his defender, leaving the ball to hit Jase on the wing. Without hesitation the ball was whipped over the blacks defenders in the 18 yard box which was met by Wez, who had timed his run to absolute perfection. Wez volleyed the ball so sweetly, honey was seen dripping from his boots. The crowd rose to their feet with anticipated celebration and then… the bastard saved it. The keeper who had dropped everything all day and had been rolling around on the floor not 5 mins ago begging for his arm to be amputated because of the pain, saved what would have been the goal of the year. The final whistle blew and the boys fell to floor after giving it their best all day, many with hardly enough energy left to raise their beers to their mouths in the post match huddle.

Lady luck had truly deserted the Uni White B's that day and had only confirmed what we already knew, that she is a total bitch!

JaseTop

That time of year had come around again, Past Players Day, a chance for the legends and not-so-legends to come and revel in all the glory that is the Uni Whites. They even had the opportunity to don the kit and have a kick around. As a current player I will be honoured later in life to have such an opportunity (No doubt a substitution 7 minutes in to drag me off the floor). As light-hearted and fun as this day is though, there were more serious matters at hand. REVENGE!!! And EXPECTATION!!! Revenge in that the reverse fixture of this game had us losing 2-1 and the referee was absolutely shit towards us and we have to get revenge. Expectation, well being our past players day, we wouldn't want to disappoint our fellow great whites who had stayed around to watch the real glamour. It was to be a real battle.

The line-up consisted of Dan 'I am really a softy, just ask me at training' Aikin in goals, with World class defender Joe 'Great White Hope' Windows, Damien 'One of the Bushby's' Bushby and Craig 'Mr and Mrs Mini me' Goldfinch all playing across the backline. Sunny 'Snapping at your heels' Jaswal played as our ever consistent steel in our midfield. Daniel 'Mr. Distribution' Wang and Sean 'Best knee goal of the year' Bushby completed the central midfield. On the wings were Russell 'Another nickname referring to his lack of after match pub socialness' Edwards playing on the right and on the left was Paul 'turning 40 soon but playing like a 30 year old' Krzystoszek (no, I'm not that good, I had to copy the last name off the website). Scott 'aka Mr. Smooth aka Mr. Epilady aka Lady legs aka BB (Baby's bum) aka Silkstar' Edwards and Ryan 'Should give up trying to think of alter egos for Scott' Harrowfield completed the striking department.

Some wise words were spoken by our leader along the lines of 'Just absorb the pressure for the first 15 minutes because they can run and are going to come at us'.

The match started as every match does......with the blow of a whistle, and we were off and playing. We were passing the ball around fairly well and our movement off the ball was OK but just as Robin had warned, the Uni blacks had done something I think they must practice in every training session. They made a run wide into our box and managed to low cross it, although with Dan getting a touch to it, it was then tapped into the goal by the player coming in late at the far post.....An exact replica of the 2 goals in the B's game. Score 0-1.

We were shocked, but given Robs pre-game advice, we knew that we didn't follow instructions and it had cost us. Our recovery was to be sweet though. Not the kind of 'cadbury chocolate' sweet, more of the 'warm melted chocolate drizzled over a gorgeous woman' kind of sweet. We lifted our heads and started the game again. We finally got out of first gear and were passing the ball around well, linking our defence to our wide-men, our wide-men to our midfield, our midfield to our wide-men, our wide-men to our defence and our defence to our midfield....oh and somewhere in there are a couple of passes to our strikers feet. We got upfield and Scott received the ball and attempted to dribble into the box, only to be stripped of the ball, only to have the defender make a huge error gifting the ball back to Scott, after Scott had already run in behind him. It was only a matter of slotting it past the keeper (who was actually one of the field players in the B's team) and Scott cooly drove the ball with his K-Leather clad AdiPure TM boots into the bottom left hand corner of the goal. Score 1-1. We were back in the game. The first half petered out.

Robin's half-time advice, while not left-clicking on Team options and selecting 'Encourage team' aka Football Manager Stylz, he did give us specific advice and tips. He noted the opposition were tiring and our controlled slow build-up play was much more effective now. He wanted us to have many shots on target because he too knew that the keeper was a player, no not the type that rolls in a Jeep Grand Cherokee chromed to the roof and wearing a pair of 21" Dubs, although he could pass as that too, but a field player who hasn't reached level 20 in all of his goalkeeping attributes. Robin also told us to yet again absorb the pressure because they will still come at us for the first 10-15 minutes.

So we were off playing again and it was still an even affair with both sides having plenty of possession. Then with some luck and an acute volley off of a very high but bad clearance, the ball rifled into the goal from inside the 18 yd box care-of another AdiPure TM K-leather clad boot...that of Sean Bushby's. Score 2-1. I detect a trend here.

The game was on, with all of the uni blacks pressing forward leaving only one defender staying back, we were under a lot of pressure and the Uni Blacks were peppering behind the goals with shots for the majority of the rest of the game. Although all that pressing, against a well trained team whose 'Team Instructions' has the counter-attacking box ticked, was going to get them into trouble and so it was. Sean, Scott and I had received the ball, and we all advanced, outnumbering their defence, with Scott passing the ball to Sean (22 yds out), Sean to me (21 yds out), Me back to Scott (20 yds out), Scott back to me (19 yds out), Me back to Sean (18 yds out), then with a sublime diagonal pass, right to left, across the 18 yard box, which I wish would be the norm for the type of supply Scott and I receive from our creative players, I managed to summon up enough energy to get my sprint on and with three strides, some good balance, and a very, very, very, very, very, very, very TINY bit of luck, I swung my unco left leg and left boot, A Puma V-Kat II TM...Synthetic upper with a leather toe area, and connected with the ball and the defenders boot. As time slowed down I watched the ball travel again to exactly where I wanted it to go. As that ball sailed past the hapless keeper and bristled the onion bag, seeing the defender who failed to make that goal saving tackle look so dejected, I felt that sense of ecstasy, excitement and glory. We had scored another goal. 3-1. 4 goals in 4 games for me and the game sealer. It just so happened that it was also the last kick of the game. As the Uni Blacks started again the referee, who was not fantastic towards the Uni Blacks team (ahhh sweet justice), blew his whistle and ended the game. 3-1 Final Score.

It was a great day, at a great club, with great people...............That's It. Uni Whites. That's It.

RyanTop

WARNING: Any correlation between the game played, and this report is entirely coincidental

Facing up against Jorge 'Superboots' Tan and the infamous 'Horse' Jackson I knew I had a tough game ahead, despite the six or seven million games of experience I had in front of me. The Past Players got off to a measured start, Lane, Sampson, Coburn Jnr and Chandiok all looking like they were still worth their once substantial transfer fees. While the C's were busy wasting their energy making fast runs, and trying to use the through ball, it was all in vain as Axel Foley and Woofa cut them out and hoofed the ball away time and time again.

Edoardo was getting a little frustrated as apparently the Past Players, despite playing scores of games with him in the past, failed to recognise that he is substantially vertically challenged. Despite this, Eddie and Leo probably created the best chances early, only to be stopped by the man, the myth, the legend - Steve Bresolin. At the other end I hadn't been challenged early, until it happened... our defence opened up like a duffle bag, leaving Ben at the top of the box unmarked... he calmly shot to the left post, and a weak save attempt by yours truly allowed the ball to find the back of the net. Poor defence and poor keeping from the old boys, but I dont want to take anything away from the shot.

The Past players needed to regroup and fast, so super-sub and captain Bill Hill entered the frey and with immediate results. He sured up the backline with calm and accurate passing which reminded me of seeing him play on those old grainy black and white news reels. Vintage stuff. He helped the legends coast into half time at 1-0 down, but looking surprisingly confident.

A quick keeper swap saw Bresolin taking the field for the Past Players, and me, the Wook keeping for the C's. The second half taught me some things... I'm incredibly out of practice, but that was expected, but the other thing I learnt was how it must have felt being a goalkeeper for PAC or CBC or the Blacks in the old days... Dave Lane looking for Sean Coburn, Leo and Eddie, Sanj looking hungry for goals too. It was quite a daunting experience, and unfortunately the C's didn't deal with it well. Structure was lost at the back, and they became leaky like a water-damaged shed. It wasn't long before Coburn had leveled the game at 1-1. More was to follow as the C's defence was carved apart like a proverbial Roast Lamb and it soon became 3-1 with Eddie slotting home and someone backheeling one in a goalmouth scramble. Horse and Solomon were trying to fire up the C's, and for a while it worked... they used their pace to move it down the wing, and get the ball central for a much needed second goal, but the concentration wasn't there afterwards and again the defence had more holes than rural Victoria.

Wookie forced Lano to shoot wide in a one-on-one, but it was just delaying the inevitable. Sanj finished with the final goal of the game in another one-on-one with Wook. So 4-2 the final score with the good guys (the Past Players) prevailing. It was the score that the crowd wanted, particularly in the second half when everyone started taking a lot of enjoyment in watching me concede goals. There are some things to be taken from the game, some constructive criticism if you will for the C's. There needs to be a lot more voice, and when someone is shouting, it might be a good idea to listen. It puzzles me that a team can be so well organised in the first half only to let it unravel so badly in the second - kind of like the first two series of 'Lost'.

Man of the Match is a tough decision, and it's a big burden on my shoulders. Robin was eternally solid at the back for the C's, and Horse and Solomon were useful too. Andy Foley, Dave Lane, Dave Sampson and Edoardo were all good for the Past Players, but the man of the match, the person who had the most influence on the result of the game, goes to Wook who had a hand in, if not a hand on, 5 of the 6 goals in the game. Congrats big fella, get yourself a complimentary beverage.

BennTop