The B's this week took on Scotch, who were still searching for their first win of the season. Yet again a totally changed squad, as Kenneth, Kevin and Mai were studying, Nathan and Sean had been called up to the A's and Anthony was away.

Returning to the squad were Lev and Damien, as well as 2 Uni Whites legends making their first appearance for the year in Justin Bushby and Sab Gafar.

As seems to be our way, early on we were caught napping and Scotch had a chance to score within the first minute. Fortunately, the big man at the back Dan Aikin was up to the challenge.

Unfortunately, much of the first half continued in this fashion, as too often we gifted Scotch the ball, allowing them to catch us with long balls to their 2 big strikers. In our favour though Damien and Campbell were having great defensive games and Dan in goals made a string of excellent saves to keep us in the match.

Late in the half and totally against the run of play, Justin Bushby slotted a super goal. With Cam putting the throw in, Justin managed to turn his opponent and had time to look up (three times) before hitting a powerful drive low and inside the near post.

1 Nil up at half time was a bit fortunate, but that's the way football works some times. Rob, not surprisingly was pleased, as the second half we'd have the wind and more importantly we'd weathered the storm.

The second half however started just like the first, as we turned over possession and Scotch had a shot on goal. Yet again though Big Dan did the business.

As the half wore on though, we started to hit our stride. Buddie came on for Manny, as Jason moved up front and this change really woke us up - Jason showed off the full bag of tricks and he began to bring our midfield into the game. Justin was also rested for Sab and for about 20 minutes we were in command, a great run from Buddie down the left resulted in a speculative cross which Justin Khoo just managed to get a toe on before the keeper: 2-0. We then scored a 3rd as a corner was played short to Lev, who hit the upright with his cross, the ball then came down and hit the head of a defender before Buddie's head also touched the ball over the line 3-0 in slightly fortuitous fashion.

For the last 10 minutes or so we were under sustained pressure, but fortunately we held on for what many have said was perhaps the scrappiest 3 Nil win ever.

In the end though an excellent result for the boys, with many outstanding performances, particularly Daniel in goals, Justin and Jason up front, Damien and Cam at the back and also Buddie's second half efforts.

Well done lads

SafTop

Once again, with the B's showing the way with a comprehensive second half showing against Scotch and with Wez (some say Rastawookie Jr.), apparently even having some time to hold his own standup show during the game; the A's had no excuse not to perform as admirably (aside from the abysmal first half of the B's, the less said about that half the better).

The line up once again was as familiar as that old scent of stale beer on carpet, however, this time a different face with Matt 'Safe Hands Seaman' Milosevic in goals. Safe Hands could singlehandedly stop a missile fired by a tank driven by Mr T. but I guess it'd be nice to have some defenders slowing down that missile first. It was good to have the familiar backline of Chris 'Get Some Nuts' Gayen, Joe 'Dry Sausage' Windows and Craig 'Hot Rod' Goldfinch coming together to form a trio packing more puff than the Powerpuff Girls. In midfield, Sunny 'Playboy' Jaswal, Daniel 'Sock Saga' Wang and Sean 'Could you please look at my knee' Bushby were flanked by the evergreen Paul 'with the unpronounceable surname' K and Long 'Dong-to bust all myths' Ngyuen were given the unenviable task of supplying the strikers with ammunition whilst giving the Powerpuff girls some cover. Now, normally this wouldn't be an issue with George 'Lippy' Tan around, however, due to extenuating circumstances, the midfield might actually have to pull their finger out. Up front, Ryan 'Wh-kish' Harrowfield's absence as he was away with the missus and kids (cue awwwwww) resulted with Nathan 'Panasonic' Kora's first start for the A's with the reward of the unenviable task of partnering Scott 'has a tendency to only rock up to the Kentish when he scores' Edwards as they would seek to cut through the Scotch defence like hot knife through butter or like an epilady through hair.

The game started with the ball moving as 20 players chased it around the park and the other 2 kinda looked busy in goals with the usual buffoon in black making mistakes. Approximately 2 metres from the pitch, a battle waged between the choice of having dry sausages or making the sojourn to a canteen through the footy clubroom about 15 metres away filled with hot chicks who were directed to the wrong pitch when they asked for the glamour. Wez and myself can assure you the journey though fraught with peril was indeed worth it as the meat pie, and the sausage in proper roll with onions was good value for money as the assortment of available condiment which ranged from plain tomato sauce to Dijon Mustard made the constant beating off of hot women who seemed determined to deny two exceptionally glamourous males destined to reach the promised land. Anyway…

The A's actually played some of their best football this season in the first half. The midfield trio worked really hard with wingbacks Paul and Long in particular making Roberto Carlos look like Phil Neville. The defence was organized and held up well with Dry Sausage and Hot Rod clearing the balls away from the danger area while Get Some Nuts shone with his experience with his constant barking and some exceptional sense of timing and positioning as he would make slide tackles 5 minutes before a Scotch player would decide he would want to go to where Chris (who by this stage had already read the back pages of the Advertiser, made bookings for dinner with Clare, had a cup a tea and rubbed one out) was, who would then promptly dispossess the said Scotch player before getting off the ground and back into the game. Quick passing was the order of the day as Physio Bushby worked well with Sock Saga and Playboy who often looked at playing the ball out wide to the wingbacks. Upfront, it was evident that the Scotch defenders were struggling with the searing pace of Panasonic and Mr. Epilady, who were often at the end of balls which were played over the top of the defence. It was around the 15 minute mark (I am probably wrong) when a play down the left saw Epilady hook one back to the far post and Long Dong approached and struck the ball sweetly low and hard into the bottom left corner. 1-0 to the Whites. Whoop.

Scotch were seemingly bewildered as they continued to struggle to keep possession. Soon after Evergreen was faced with a bouncy ball on the left wing, whilst this might prove to be tricky for ordinary players with simple surnames like Tan, Kyro093oihaev like all great players, was obviously unfettered by the phenomena of the bouncing ball as he volleyed the ball with the outside of his left boot which consequently activated the heat seeking chip in the ball. As a result, the ball found Epilady who decided that what Evergreen did, he could do better and volleyed the ball first time into the bottom left corner of the Scotch goal from 20 yards out. 2-0 to the Whites, 1 goal and 1 assist for Epilady who would've texted the missus he was going to the pub after the game at half time.

The half ended with Scotch applying more pressure, with an effort scraping the top of the bar. All in all, a really good half which was played in style, with Safe Hands being bored at times. The second half however, mirrored the first half of the B's game. The referee decided that somehow, you could impede the goalkeeper in the six yard box and the Scotch players decided to be liberal with Safe Hands and literally embraced him during corners, whilst some might welcome this concept in this cold winter, it would've have been more appropriate off the pitch. As a result, a goal was conceded as Safe Hands had his hands tied while a Scotch player had a free header. Again, this seemed like a game which might be decided by the referee's expertise as countless fouls and late challenges went unpunished with Safe Hands continually being molested in the six yard box during corners. Scotch were really pushing the team and Playboy's dismissal soon after for a second yellow made things harder. Fresh legs came on as Matt 'oval ball' Mostack and Juan 'El Papa' Livore came on for the tiring Physio and Long Dong who was feeling it in his groin. Matt worked hard upfront as he continued to hassle the Scotch defenders while Juan slowed the game down on the right flank, giving the defenders time to catch their breaths.

The back three worked extremely hard with the midfielders continually dropping back to help out to the point where only Epilady was left alone up front. Scotch continued to press but did not have any clear cut chances (they would probably disagree and would also think the guy who is writing this report is a bonafide idiot, whatever man) despite having the majority of the ball. Despite the referee's valiant efforts in helping Scotch even the game by allowing their players to continually commit slide tackles that were later than their periods go unpunished and introduced the rule of allowing a player to have revenge on another, the Whites held on for 3 points. Second win of the season, with hopefully better things to come as the Nappi Sanned ones look towards moving up the ladder, bleaching everyone else in their way.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Rastawookie. Rastawookie.

GeorgeTop